Describe each location in one sentence

ITT, we try to describe or sum up each location/zone in The Secret World in one sentence. I'm sure people who are at the endgame know plenty.

Agartha: Hive mind of silliness.

Kingsmouth: Surprisingly the boringest zone in the entire game.
Savage Coast: Our Black House daily special is that way --->
Blue Mountain: Bigfoot vs. Bigbugs

Scorched Desert: Hi, do you have time to talk about our lord and savior ATUN ATUN ATUN ATUN today?
City of the Sun God: The other Eye and the Pyramid.

Besieged Farmlands: In Soviet Transylvania, the humans are the crops!
Shadowy Forest: Once upon a time, Mama Padurii hates you. And no one lived happily ever after. The End.
Carpathians: Get caught up in a cold hearted love triangle.

Solomon Islands: "Rather misty"
Egypt: "Bring sun screen."
Transylvania: "Vampires and Deathless and Werewolves, oh my!"
Kaidan: "Filthy."

Kingsmouth: Lovecraft meets Andy Griffith meets Stephen King's The Mist.
Savage Coast: Ak'ab, Ak'ab everywhere, oh and an abandoned theme park.
The Blue Mountains: Underwhelming mining operation goes bust.

Scorched Desert: I'm sorry, I was paying attention to Nassir and Said.
City of the Sun God: Thank god for Anima wells.

Besieged Farmlands: Why can't I just pick up the Blajini and carry them?
Shadowy Forest: Dmir Sausages, like CMOT Dibbler's but with a rustic flair.
Carpathian Fangs: WHERE'S EMMA?!?!!!

Kaidan: Alright, here's a better question: Do you want to have a bad time?

Polaris: Meet and Greet with Cthulhu with a personally given backstage pass
Hell Raised: Come, be our savio- sorry, we already have Wicker.
Darkness War: Mayan six-boss dance studio.

The Ankh: NO VORDS, PHILISTINES!
Hell Fallen: sand, sand, sand, kill, kill, watch for cleave, dodge fire, dodge fire, assassins, more assassins, pansy-ass boss.

The Facility: What did you do to the Program?
Hell Eternal: EBLIS! I'm monologuing again in my grandiose style.
The Slaughterhouse: insert chosen string of expletives here Robot!

The Penthouse: Bunnies and Lillith and Filth, Oh my!
Manu A: Come in and bash your head against my toys, Chuck.
Manu B: This Way!

Lumie HQ: Snark snark snark, ciao ciao.
Templar HQ: I'm going to make you get your hands dirty.
Dragon HQ: Want to see how many fingers you have at the end of the game? Just kidding. No I'm not. Whaatt?

CotSG: Meet the father of the millenium.
Orochi Tower: Meet somebody who can out-monologue Eblis (and stay alive).

These are great. To continue the dungeons:

Polaris: Just when you thought it was safe to get back into the helicopter...
Hell Raised: A series of barbecue pits interspersed with failed seductions.
Darkness War: Viking Jesus and did that ACT log just boost my self-esteem slightly?

The Ankh: Bridges over troubled water...
Hell Fallen: Shoot those guys first...no, THOSE other guy..STOP DP...Oh God.

The Facility: The true story of a girl and her dog.
Hell Eternal: Shields, mazes, and the perfect stage for a tap dance before the final boss.
The Slaughterhouse: What, all the budget went into the prototypes, we couldn't be bothered with the FLOORS.

• Kingsmouth Town: "Zombie apocalypse in American village."[/*:m]
• Savage Coast: "Zombie apocalypse in Hogwarts."[/*:m]
• Blue Mountain: "Zombies vs. Indians."[/*:m]
• Scorched Desert: "War on occult terror."[/*:m]
• City of Sun God: "Story about a man that ritually sacrificed his children."[/*:m]
• Besieged Farmlands: "Vampires vs. Werewolves."[/*:m]
• Shady Forest: "Deeper in the woods, fatter the ghouls."[/*:m]
• Carpathian Fangs: "Chasing various women through the snow."[/*:m]
• Kaidan: "Aum Shinrikyo strikes again."[/*:m][/list:u]

I almost lost a keyboard to that.

^^ Rock-y your Hell Raised description had nearly the same result for me. 🙂

Omg, Rock-y I nearly snerfed my drink! These are all so funny!